dating apps

 Dating apps and dating in general really really sucks. 

There's so many guys in my age range that "don't know what they want" and have commitment issues. I am not here to change them or make them commit OR wait around for them to commit. 

I went through a relationship already with a guy for 8 years that had commitment issues and would love me one minute....then get bored and he felt like he loved one of his ex's and would go back to an ex or talk about an ex....I got tired of it. I would break up as soon as he acted like that and try to move on....of coarse he wanted his cake and eat it, too. So he did a lot of games to prevent me from moving on and deleting him from my life for good. It took me moving and changing all of my routines and putting all of my social media accounts on private, deleting my blog....everything to get him out of my life. He would show up at the Starbucks that he figured out that I frequented. He showed up at my church. He was not kind to me and my son....and he was verbally abusive and discouraged us both in our creative endeavors. My son loved to write stories and he put him down and made fun of him.....my son shut down and stopped writing and stopped letting himself be vulnerable after that. He constantly made fun of me when I would practice singing, playing piano or playing guitar and would do anything he could to disrupt my practice time.....he criticized me so much that I stopped playing music completely. 

So, I gave a dating app a chance. I was talking to 3 guys....one had not messaged me back in over a week..he always took days to respond prior to ghosting me.....so deleted him. 

The other two were messaging me sort of daily. One guy was an INFJ personality type and but he would not open up.....I had to constantly initiate conversation. I would say, "what streams and shows/movies have you watched or liked" and he would say, "I'm too busy to watch tv"....pretentious answer and so I let it go and said, "what kind of music do you like" and he mentioned a couple of bands and then said, "what about you" and he started doing the "what about you" a lot or reply with "lol" or an emoji when I would ask him a question and would not make any attempts to communicate beyond that. He mentioned about women that look like Instagram models and have degrees in certain fields on that app.....so, I figured that he must had had high standards and I didn't know what his purpose was for liking me and chatting with me with what little chat that he did....I got tired of the games and his lack of communication......you can't expect one person doing all the communication/working on the relationship and attempting to get to know the other. So I deleted him and glad I did. 

The third guy was judgmental and pretentious as well.....and I deleted him also. He said he was "migrating" back to Maine.....but in actuality he was living in Texas and just moved and started another job.....so I guess he isn't "migrating" anywhere....lol

I ended up deleting that app all together, because a TON of married guys are on it and state that they are in an open relationship and want a casual relationship only and happily married....and I got tired of seeing that.....it's a dating app for singles and mostly it's supposed to let women be in control...it's called bumble or something like that....anyway, seeing so many married guys on this app daily and having the crappy experiences with those 3 guys....I deleted it. 

I still have the other app called ok cupid. It sucks, too. But at least with that app you see a bit more background questions answered and can tell immediately if that guy is not ready for a relationship and if they toxic, etc. But so far, it sucks.....so many agnostic guys on that app....and so many that are using drugs on it.....

so, I think I might give up on the dating apps and just try to accept that I'm single and will stay that way and don't have a shot at meeting a decent guy. There's no decent guys ready for a relationship. 

I have had really really bad experiences with guys on dating apps in the past. They are mainly out for sex and not in it for a relationship.....and are aggressive about the sex. A majority do not feel the need to have a proper date and buy dinner or even a drink from Starbucks....and yet immediately put their hands on me and try to have sex.....and a lot of them do not look like in person what their picture looks like on their apps either. 

A lot of these guys on dating apps won't open up and will push to meet in person and then have tried to rape me....have had it happen several times. I really need to get mace....

so I give up. I just can't find a decent guy.